TOP 10 REASONS SOCCER IS BETTER THAN SEX...

10. BALLS ARE ALWAYS CHECKED FOR FIRMNESS

9. PERIODS ONLY LAST 45 MINUTES

8. PARENTS CHEER WHEN YOU SCORE

7. SOCCER IS A LEGAL PROFESSION

6. PROTECTIVE EQUIPMENT CAN BE WASHED AND REUSED

5. SIZE DOESN'T MATTER

4. IF YOU GET TOO ROUGH YOU GET A RED CARD

3. YOU CAN SCORE USING YOUR HEAD OR YOUR FEET

2. LASTS A FULL 90 MINUTES

1. YOU CAN JUGGLE YOUR BALLS IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER