Baked Beans
Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans.
She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very
embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.
Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it became apparent
that they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and

She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later her
car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country
she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she
would have to walk home.
On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked
beans was more than she could stand Since she still had miles to walk,
she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she
reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she
had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt
reasonably sure she could control it.
Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed
delightedly,"Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She
seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his
wife, the telephone rang.
He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He
then went to answer the telephone.

The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the
pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of
the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and
let it go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running
over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously.
Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which
reminded her of cooked cabbage.
Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she
went on like this for another ten minutes.
When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned
the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and
folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.
She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned,
apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she
assured him that she had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and was she surprised!!
There were twelve dinner guests there to wish her a Happy Birthday"!!!